Twisted Mac and Cheese

Here’s a twist on a recipe that you may want to avoid. FYI, bacon grease is not a suitable substitute for margarine or butter.

1 box macaroni and cheese dinner

1/4 cup milk

1/4 cup bacon grease

Prepare macaroni according to package directions substituting bacon grease for the margarine called for. Don’t bother eating. Dump directly into the garbage.

Yes, it is as yucky as it sounds, but I had to post it so that hopefully everyone can have a good laugh. My sister and I were talking on the phone a few days ago and the memory of David making this for me when I was pregnant came back to me. I guess I had blocked it out up to that point. I think the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey, didn’t Dave make me something with bacon grease when I was pregnant?

My sister: Yes! He did. What was that? I think it was macaroni and cheese but you were out of butter so he used bacon grease.

Me: Oh. Yeah. I remember now. It was awful. I had morning sickness and just the smell was nauseating. I think I took one bite and was like “sorry, but I cannot eat this.”

My sister: Poor David. He just likes to experiment a little too much when he’s cooking.

At this point in the conversations we were both laughing so hard we could hardly talk.

I need to clarify a couple of points here. First, I love bacon. I think it is beyond delicious, but bacon grease belongs in collard greens or a wilted spinach salad—not macaroni and cheese. Second, David is a great baker—his desserts are usually fantastic. A lot of times the things he cooks are good too but occasionally he doesn’t do so well. If you need more examples I will be happy to share the stories about the curdled egg casserole and his recipe for baked rabbit at some point in the future.